† chronic nail-biting †

"Anniel, bakit ganyan ung kuko mo? pudpod!" -JM (classmate)

"ba't parang di ko yata nakikitang humahaba ung kuko mo?" -Jellai

"ampangit ng kuko mo!" -Dino

"tigilan mo na yan, wala ka nang kuko.." -Annie (mama ko ü)

here i am, with my fingernails ugly and all, hence i was called pudpod.

i wish i can avoid my chronic nail-biting. it makes me ugly, and it's so not-cute. i do it anywhere i possibly can; jeepneys, bus, classroom, while walking, sitting on the couch watching t.v, before i sleep, and often when i feel restless or nervous. i'm always fidgety with my hands, i don't know what's wrong with me. i asked my Psychology teacher what it meant, and he said it's a manifestation of insecurity. then i remembered Erik Erickson's theory of human development. there are eight stages of human development, each focusing on a different conflict that we need to solve in order to develop successfully into the next stage of our lives. the idea is that if we don’t resolve each stage or we choose the wrong of two choices, our ability to deal with the consecutive stages is impaired and the failure will return to us at some point later in life.

one of these stages has something to do with acquiring pleasure thru the mouth; the stage called oral sensory stage which occurs 12-18 months after birth. this stage is when a baby finds gratification by playing with his mouth, this explains why babies loves to thumb-suck and put little toys in their mouth. haven’t you asked yourself why? this is the first stage of Erik Erickson's theory.

i don't know what happened way back when i was a baby, maybe my bottle-feeding was suddenly discontinued hence my oral sensory stage was not satiated. but as far as i can remember, i've been nail-biting since my elementary days. then it stopped in highschool, and came back when i was a college freshman. i don't think it's unhealthy, i think it even boosts my immunity cause when i bite my nails i tend to put tons of bacteria in my mouth, which makes me immune to diseases. haha! joke! it's just that, being skittish with my nails at this age is not appropriate for me.

oh well, maybe i'm just plain insecure. ü